Tag: Faith

Listen to Your Inner Guru

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, God, Journey, Spirituality

One Sunday morning at church, a visitor gushed with excitement about being there and meeting me.  After the service concluded, he thrust paper and pen at me. 

“I want you to write something down,” he said and proceeded to advise me about how much I could learn from a local guru.

At one point in my life, I would have taken his words personally, imagining that I’d said or done something “wrong.”  But instead, I realized that he was a spiritual seeker and wanted to share something which inspired him.  He reminded me of my younger self, when I was discovering my own spiritual path, sometimes gushing unsolicited advice about someone or something I thought others needed to follow. 

During that time, when I sought all my answers in books, classes, and gurus, I learned a sacred truth from a blessed teacher who said: “Jenn, maybe you could put all the books in a box for a while and stop searching so hard.  Listen to yourself.  Then, you can be your own guru.”  Her words are some of the best advice I’ve ever received.

Especially during this season of uncertainty, adjustment, and ceaseless information streams, we need time to hear the still, small voice within, our own inner guru.   This listening process is the kind of back-to-school work we can do anytime, anyplace, anywhere, because it always starts with us.

One of the best ways to begin is by contemplating some questions about our lives now:

  • What, of our true heart’s desires, have we enjoyed from our bucket list?  What are we doing to enjoy more?  
  • Which books, newsletters, posts, and feeds do we think we should read, especially if someone else recommended them?  Do they provide the education and enlightenment we need?  What would we love to read, study, or follow instead?
  • What projects and activities must we do for our own and our family’s well-being?   Are we taking enough time for our own self-care?  Are we trying to do other jobs or complete tasks which someone else is better equipped to handle?  
  • Which people truly listen and encourage us in living our dreams and passions?  Which people try to catch us in their webs of drama and gossip?
  • When we request advice, do we understand what is said?  Are we assisted in determining our own needs?  Or does the advice-giver act as if they are the “only” expert, following the “only” path, offering the “only” product there will ever be?
  • What feels like a drain on our time and energy?  What do we truly love doing?

While these questions may take time to consider, the answers will help us learn new truths about ourselves as we begin a new school year, return to the office, or re-set our minds to new opportunities that fall often brings.  As we keep listening faithfully, we allow our inner guru to guide our discernment.  And better than any gold star is the sense of ease and peace of mind we feel in how we choose to live now. 

Previously published in the “Faith” section of Peachtree Corners Magazine, “A Back to School Message from Rev. Jennifer L. Sacks,” Summer 2020, livinginpeachtreecorners.com

Experiencing God Beyond the Building

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, God, Journey, Spiritual Maturity, Spirituality4 Comments

In towns and countries around the world, many houses of worship —churches, temples, synagogues, mosques — are remaining closed.  Many of them have gone virtual, though a few have shut their doors forever. 

Whatever the religion, the building was often more important than the spiritual practice.  Millions of dollars and thousands of pledge drives were devoted to maintain and enhance them because people needed somewhere to go to find God.

For some, this building became the only worthy place for God to dwell.  If we attended weekly worship in the chosen building, we often imagined that we would find comfort, salvation, redemption, and eternal peace.

How sobering then for us to realize that that the very places we thought were most holy have also been hotbeds for spreading disease.  And without the building, a physical structure for worship, some of us have felt lost and alone, believing that somehow God is gone and we’re on our own.

Yet, the truth is: God is not found in our buildings only.  God is everywhere present, all the time, in the midst of all our comings and goings, in the midst of all that is occurring around us.  And if we cannot attend worship in a physical building or we feel unfulfilled in a sea of virtual broadcasts, we can experience God in our lives by:

  • Creating a sacred space for prayer, meditation, and contemplation in our own homes.  Anything from a comfortable chair to an entire room counts.  This is our place to be still and silent, even if only for a few minutes a day. 
  • Designing an altar of holy objects and inspiring treasures in our sacred space.  Items can include: a Star of David, cross, Kwan Yin statue, angels, gongs, crystals, prayer beads, photographs, candles, and incense, among many other items.
  • Practicing intentional deep-breathing exercises.  Try belly breath – breathing deeply from your diaphragm – or pranic breath – which follows a series of patterns or rhythms.  Remember: Because our breath is portable, we can use these exercises anytime: when we’re in the grocery store, driving in the car, or in our home office waiting for the WebEx meeting to begin.  Also, these exercises are particularly helpful if we must wear a mask for an extended time because they help us stay grounded in the present moment.
  • Communing with nature.  Walk barefoot in the grass and feel its texture between our toes.  Meditate under a shady tree on a park bench and consider the texture of bark and color of leaves. Hike a mountain trail, focusing on the path’s twists and turns.  Kayak a river, watching how the water flows.  Swim in the ocean and float on the waves.  Practice sky-gazing by viewing stars shining at night or clouds floating by during the day.  Watch rain fall and listen to its sounds on the roof, pavement, and window panes.
  • Singing favorite hymns and/or chanting mantras, either alone, with family, or with a virtual group.  If you were part of a choral, convene the group virtually and take turns leading the songs.
  • Gathering with a virtual community of people who share similar interests, such as cooking, gardening, reading, knitting, or sculpting.  Because we are creative beings, sharing our creativity with others reminds us of how many different gifts we have to give one another.  Whatever the group, ensure that each person has time to share about their current project.
  • Enjoy more time with pets, if we have them.  Walking the dog, stroking the cat, milking the goats, even feeding the goldfish and filling the bird feeder remind us that we are all God’s creatures, great and small.

As we continue navigating our new way of life, let us remember that God lives and moves and expresses in each of us, 24/7/365, always and in all ways.  The more we become aware of God in the midst of everything around us, the more personal God becomes to us, not as some amorphous thing in a building, but as the source and sustenance of our entire life. 

Wherever we are, no matter what is occurring, we can affirm: “Wherever I am, God is.  And so it is.”  And so we allow it to be.

Called to Be Our Best

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, God, Journey, Spirituality

We used to run around all over the place, busy, scheduled, appointments up the ying yang.

Go here, go there.  Things to do.  People to see. 

Articles about how to do our make-up and conduct meetings, on airplanes.  Pack for a week in one suitcase.  See the Taj Mahal in an hour.  Travel the entire world in ten days.

Let’s admit it: A lot of us were exhausted and we didn’t even know it.  We just kept winding ourselves up, and going, going, going.

We were exhausting ourselves and our resources: emotional, mental, physical, natural.

Some us had no spiritual exhaustion because spirituality was for sissies.  Or we had our silos, the church, mosque, synagogue, temple that was our club, where we went to be seen.

And some of us thought God was only in the building on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  Or we tried to steer the Universe by ourselves.

We were running after elusive fountains of youth and measures of success which strained all our reserves.  Some of us strained others, too, sucking life from them like vampires, so we could have more.  Some of us were human bulldozers, plowing our way through fertile fields; we didn’t notice what we ran over.  Until it was too late.

We were so wound up, we didn’t know how to unwind.

A couple of weeks ago, while livestreaming from the pulpit in an empty sanctuary, I shared a message I heard in Washington, D.C., during the Yuppie 1990s: “The one who dies with the most toys wins.”  And how I remember whispering to myself: “OK, but they still die.”

And some people might say: “You can’t say that Rev. Jenn.  That’s not motivating.  That isn’t inspiring.”

Really?

When current events remind us how precious life is?  That disease is the great equalizer?

Check out sacred scripture.  Read any of the Gospels.  Jesus says repeatedly: “I’m only with you for a while.  Listen to me now.  Here’s how to live.”

Check out God’s conversations with Moses.  How many times God says: “I am the Lord your God.  And you are Moses.  This is your job.  And this is how much time you have.”

So, if someone is upset with me for mentioning death, I invite them to consider how well they’re living.  What they’re doing with their precious time, this awesome gift of life they have.

Because, in my experience, with those I’ve been honored to share this journey, no one ever said, “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.  I wish I’d bought more stuff.”  But all of them said, each in their own words, “I hope I was the best person I could be.”

We are called to be our best selves.  The stuff we have is garnish.

Embrace your best self, right here, right now, and live it out loud.

That’s our call, and God knows, our world truly needs it.

© 2020 – Rev. Jennifer L. Sacks – All rights reserved.

Doing the Limbo

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, God, Journey, Spiritual Maturity, Spirituality

Anyone who’s attended an old-time dance party knows the Limbo Rock.  The popular dance asks us to shimmy ourselves below a bar without knocking it over.

Succeeding at the Limbo Rock doesn’t require the coolest moves.  It requires the most dexterity and flexibility, which we also need to dance the Limbo of Life.

Literally, limbo means being between here and there, neither in nor out, on nor off, when we don’t know what’s next.  Limbo is an uncertain, indefinite time of waiting. 

Millions live in limbo these days, as our governments, institutions, and organizations attempt to determine new standards of safety and well-being.  Perhaps, you’ve noticed, Blessed Reader, few of them agree about these standards.  So, we’ve reached one of life’s waystations where we’re left to discern our new normal. 

During this time, spiritual maturity helps us remain patient as we renew our faith and build our spiritual strength.  Rather than fuss about waiting, force things to happen, or hide in terror, dexterity and flexibility let us:

  • Enjoy time in stillness and silence.  Sit, rest, gaze at artwork on the walls or flowers in the garden, pet the dog, cradle a child.  If we believe that we aren’t doing anything, remember that all spiritual masters became that way because they knew how to be still and wait.
  • Connect, at least weekly, with a prayer partner and BFF.  Share gratitude for the present and imagine hope for the future.
  • Honor our bodies.  Get enough sleep, exercise, and nourishment.  Take necessary medications.  If we are ill, all our energy and attention turns to healing.  If we’re caregivers in any capacity, we honor ourselves and others best when we choose self-care first.  None of us can give from an empty well.
  • Honor our feelings, especially sadness, grief, and confusion.  Many of us are experiencing losses, so cry as needed.  Tears aren’t a sign of weakness; they mean our hearts are open and we’re mourning something we love.
  • Tackle a task we’ve avoided, especially if it will bring ease.  If we need assistance, many professionals including accountants, attorneys, mental health counselors, and organizers are glad to work virtually.  Research recommendations from trusted friends.
  • Embrace a creative activity or learn a new skill.  Countless online classes are available, and libraries and museums offer an abundance of free, virtual resources.
  • Schedule playtime.  No attempts to accomplish anything.  Just have fun.  Find board games the whole family can enjoy like Monopoly or Chutes and Ladders.  Or use an old-fashioned deck of cards to play Canasta, Gin, or Go Fish.
  • Appreciate the simple gifts of good health, safe shelter, comfortable clothes, and a full belly.

Overall, know that even when our lives seem to be “on-hold,” we still have the inner power and intuition to choose our next steps.  Especially, remember that God in the midst of us is assurance and wisdom as we remain open to the best paths ahead.

© 2020 – Rev. Jennifer L. Sacks – All rights reserved.  Image by Ben Kerckx from Pixabay.

What’s Happening Now

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, God, Journey, Spiritual Maturity, Spirituality1 Comment

During a difficult life transition, I fretted about outcomes, sometimes feeling as if I’d spin out of control.   Fortunately, I attended a weekly sangha, and our group meditations anchored my faith.  One day, I admitted my fears to our teacher, Maggie.  She acknowledged them, then reminded me to stay present to my new life unfolding.  “It’ll be all right,” she assured me.  “This is just what’s happening now.”

More than 20 years later, Maggie’s wisdom still resonates because it’s a hallmark of spiritual maturity: When we accept what’s happening now, we remember that we control little more than ourselves in life, so we can choose how we’ll flow with what is.

To find comfort in what’s happening now, we can:

  • Remain anchored in our contemplation, meditation, prayer, and reflection practices.  Breathe deep, belly breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth.  Concentrating on our breath relaxes our minds and calms our racing heartbeats, anytime, anywhere.
  • Do daily chores mindfully.  Everything from peeling an orange and inhaling the scent to humming a favorite tune as we wash our hands is a grounding, mindfulness practice.
  • Limit long-range planning, pushing for long-term commitments, or rushing to make decisions.  Focus on present needs such as completing today’s projects and buying this week’s groceries.
  • Dive into a creative activity: carving, coloring, gardening, knitting, painting, sculpting, etc.  Work it step by step, noting accomplishments daily.
  • Avoid instant gratification which may lead to later regrets.  Ask: “How will I feel about this next week, next month, next year?  Am I willing to wait?  What other choices might I have?”  Then list all the choices we discern are best now.
  • Halt dramas and conversations about how awful or difficult life is, how hard we are/aren’t working, or what someone else is/isn’t doing.
  • Beware offering or accepting unsolicited advice.  As soon as we say or hear, “You should,” we likely need to pause and re-examine our intentions.  This applies to our inner voice, too.  No “shoulding” on ourselves; we’re doing the best we can.
  • Get out of bed, no tossing and turning, if we awaken early, anywhere from 3:00 to 6:00 AM.  During these “God Hours,” we’re most attuned to Spirit and our inner creativity, so they’re sacred times for extra meditation, study, or crafting.
  • Acknowledge grief and loss.  Those moments which seem like we’re walking through pools of molasses or crying for no reason are ways we mourn.  Even if we feel silly, we can find comfort in hugging a pillow or stuffed animal, digging in the dirt, singing at the top of our lungs, pounding bread dough, or skipping around the neighborhood.
  • Be physically distant for safety and well-being, but stay socially connected by phone, text, email, social media, Zoom, FaceTime, etc.  Plan virtual visits to share meals, play music, dance, or continue book group discussions.

Remember, especially, that life sorts itself out.  As we remain faithful, present to what’s happening now without attaching to it, we discover simple joys in things as they are.  And as a new season unfolds, we can let the journey carry us to what’s next, trusting that this too shall pass.

© 2020 – Rev. Jennifer L. Sacks – All rights reserved. – Image by Angeles Balaguer from Pixabay

Faith and Sensibility

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, Journey, Personal Growth, Spiritual Maturity, Spirituality

One winter, the entire high school where I taught shared an ailment.  It started with laryngitis, though no physical discomfort.  Then it became a cough and a chest cold, which led to bronchitis for me.  When I saw the doctor, he said it was viral, not bacterial.  An antibiotic would do nothing; I needed to boost my immune system, rest my body, and ride it out.  Which I did, slowly, faithfully, day by day, long into spring.

Our faith helps us ride things out and assures us that “this too shall pass,” just as other things have.  Yet, our sensibility, the power to gauge and monitor our reactions and behaviors, determines how we ensure our safety and well-being so we can function and thrive, even during trying times.

Amid tremendous anxiety about coronavirus, bear markets, and dysfunctional political systems, we can behave sensibly by:

  • Refraining from hoarding.  Hoarding is fear-based belief centered in lack.  If we’re concerned about our supplies, we can take a gratitude inventory of food, medicine, personal care items, and/or bank balances, specifically noting how much we have to sustain us.
  • Being gentle with ourselves.  No matter our current health, this isn’t a time to rail against the healthcare system or worry that we didn’t wash our hands long enough.  Instead, we can focus all our attention on renewing our life energy, building our strength, giving ourselves time to heal, blessing our bodies, and savoring peaceful sleep.
  • Beginning and ending our days with prayer and meditation.  Breathe deeply, chant mantras, count blessings, give thanks.  When we pray, let’s include our world leaders, the media, and all those working to mitigate and eradicate disease.
  • Connecting with loved ones.  If needed, create a buddy system, agreeing to check-in daily to say, “Hi,” “I love you,” “I feel better today,” or share other good news.  No fear-mongering or pity-parties allowed.
  • Avoiding all “ain’t-it-awful,” “the sky is falling” dramas.  Remain focused on the present and what can be done today.
  • Choosing a few specific times — never at mealtime or bedtime — to check news, financial markets, and social media.  Set a 15-minute limit; then log off.
  • Checking facts and figures before sharing information, so we don’t inadvertently spread rumors.  Check at least 3 reliable, vetted sources that conduct their own research.
  • Getting outside into sunshine and fresh air.  Commune with nature by digging in the garden or raking leaves.  Sky gaze and track moon phases.  All these extend our view beyond ourselves and give us a broader perspective of life.
  • Scheduling time for exercise, fun and laughter.  Play games, cook a favorite meal, binge-watch some comedy, read a new novel, color, draw, paint, dance, and sing.

Overall, remember that even though we desire certainty, much of life is uncertain and change is inevitable.  As we remain patient and flexible, we’re less flustered and more adaptable as schools close, events cancel, or circumstances alter.  With faith, we remain sensible about our choices, and day by day we discover that gentle, consistent pacing guides our way.

© 2020 – Rev. Jennifer L. Sacks – All rights reserved. – Image by Florence D. from Pixabay

Feel the Hope

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, God, Journey, Personal Growth, Spirituality1 Comment

Sometime after the New Year 2015, I experienced divine discontent, that feeling which is part God-nudge, longing, and dissatisfaction.  All seemed well enough in my life, and yet something else called. 

In late February, while planning a church class, I wrote in my journal, “Start a blog.”  I hoped to create one, because my dearest friend already was writing her own. 

That spring, I saved snippets of my Sunday messages for rewrites.  That summer, I began publishing, hoping that I could reach others around the world who want to embrace their faith, grow in spiritual maturity, and navigate their life journeys with ease, grace, courage, and joy.

Hope keeps me going, driving my faith in myself, my knowledge, and my ability to keep learning and growing.  Even when my direction has seemed foggy, I trust that I’ll arrive where I need to be, when I need to be there.

Along the way, I’ve discovered that we block hope when we:

  • Attempt to order the Universe or employ the same old strategies, especially because that’s what’s always been done.
  • Say that something “should” work, though it hasn’t and still isn’t.
  • Lie or make excuses to hide the truth, whether from ourselves or others.
  • Believe the myths that we can be, do, and have it all, or that life is futile and will never get better.
  • Strive relentlessly to succeed, especially believing that we can’t rest until we complete a never-ending to do list.
  • Expect someone or something to change, especially when they show us repeatedly that they won’t.
  • Compete with and compare ourselves to others.
  • Try to do it all ourselves, because no one else can meet our standards and expectations. 
  • Live on social media and believe that’s real life.  Social media is like reality TV; much of it is staged.

In comparison, we feel and sustain hope when we:

  • Stop rehashing our problems and posting all our woes.
  • Give ourselves a reality check about what’s occurring so we can decide whether to stay, go, negotiate, adjust, or alter.
  • Trust the time we need to grow our savings, lose the weight, build the muscle, heal the wound, mend the fence, find the job, or meet our beloved. 
  • Take some action toward the goal every day, remembering that life often unfolds in small steps, rather than in grand advances.
  • Journal our progress and reflect on how far we’ve come.
  • Connect with faithful companions who encourage our dreams, celebrate our successes, and remind us of our worth.

Especially, hope is about our relationship with God.  So, we feel hope best when we see God in the midst of our lives, trusting that all things work together for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28), no matter what’s occurring.  Then, we feel renewed faith in ourselves to go forward and we feel the hope of a bright future.

During the next few months, Faith for the Journey will be updated, with additional features besides the blog.  Please stay tuned.  I hope you’ll continue the journey with me.

© 2020 – Rev. Jennifer L. Sacks – All rights reserved. — Image by invisiblepower from Pixabay.

The Greatest Gifts

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, God, Spirituality

Less than a week before we celebrate the seasons of light, miracles, and rich cultural heritage, we Americans are processing another presidential impeachment.  In their outer solemnity, some people secretly celebrate.  Others scream and argue, as usual.  Yet, some of us are sad, shaking our heads in shock and surprise that it’s come to this — again.  We wonder what, if anything, we can do.

Some of us will say we must pray.  And, yes, for those who believe in the power of prayer, let’s pray.  And let’s also, after our “Amens,” be willing to do the deep, sometimes challenging inner work, which allows us to act, rather than re-act, with compassion and discernment.

Spiritual maturity requires that we live with integrity, both acknowledging and accepting that we’re responsible for our choices and our behaviors, whatever they are.  Only some people can live this way, and however we travel our life journeys, we’ll encounter those who choose to blame and shame.

We can say whatever we want about them.  Though the truth is: We still must consider how we’re living ourselves.  Are we willing to examine every angle before we pass judgment? Can we forgive what we imagine is unforgivable?  Will we choose to love, even when we do not like?  At the end of the day, these are among the questions we must ask ourselves if we want to feel peace of mind and contentment, even in challenging times.

The child who’ll be born in a manger, because there was no room for his family at the inn, would expect nothing less.  He’ll encourage us — again — to live as he did.  He’ll teach us to be wary of those who demand to be worshipped, using their greed and power to exclude and dominate.  He’ll remind us, by his life and teachings, that the only One worthy of reverence is our Creator, whatever name we call It, which doesn’t need or demand our allegiance, but invites us to live fully and faithfully, in the awe and wonder of all other creations.

In this season, are we willing to open the inn of our hearts to make way for new life?  Will we be the peace which nurtures equity, inclusion, and understanding in our world?  Of all the gifts we’ll give this season, these are the greatest.

Happy Holidays, Blessed Readers.  Namaste.

© 2019 – Rev. Jennifer L. Sacks.  All rights reserved.

A Place of Thanksgiving

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, God, Journey, Spirituality

As I prepare for Thanksgiving and reflect on the latest news about refugees, immigration, and border patrols, I’m also reminiscing about giving the invocation and benediction at a naturalization ceremony.  Before the ceremony, the guest speaker, a naturalized citizen who was an engineer, shared his story with me.

As a child in India, he lived in a dirty village in a tiny house without any amenities, including clean drinking water.  He loved to read, though books, a luxury more valuable than gold, were scarce.  He said he knew that one day he would come to America, a land of opportunity, flowing with milk and honey, though he didn’t know how.  Even then, he loved the idea of Thanksgiving, a day to feast on all his blessings.  His childhood faith astounded me, much more hopeful than mine at that age, and I had plenty of clean water and shelves of books.  

As I stepped forward to deliver the invocation, I looked into the crowd.  Forty-one candidates for citizenship, all beautiful, beloved creations of God looked back at me.  I acknowledged these divine expressions and greeted them as if they were my congregation: “Namaste.  The Spirit in me welcomes, honors, embraces and truly rejoices in the Spirit in you.” 

I could only imagine their life journeys to reach that day.  Yet, I still felt our connection, as if we were united for a sacred purpose.  I remembered my own family’s stories.  Three of my four grandparents, several aunts and uncles, and numerous cousins also left other homelands, and became U.S. citizens.  They, too, had dreamt of new lives, faithful despite an unknown future.

After the ceremony, one of the new citizens thanked me in carefully spoken English for my prayers.  I offered my congratulations.  She beamed and shook my hand.  “So thankful,” she said.  “So thankful.” 

Wherever we are this Thanksgiving weekend, whether we listen or not, we’re surround by a chorus of grateful stories: mine, our relatives’, the engineer’s, other naturalized citizens’, and all those awaiting a new homeland.  However we’re willing to hear them, they speak similar truths: As divine children of God, each of us desires safety, security, freedom, comfort, and peace of mind.  We seek a better life for ourselves and our loved ones.  We want a place we call home, where we can savor all our blessings.

No matter who we are, who we love, where we’ve been, how we look, or what’ve done before, we can hold dearly, sometimes cling tightly, to the faith that leads us forward in courage and guides our steps in grace.  For every story and for all those who’ve paved a path for us, let us celebrate that kind of faith. Especially, let us be thankful for all we are now and all we’re still becoming.

Happy Thanksgiving, Blessed Readers.  Namaste.

© 2019 – Rev. Jennifer L. Sacks.  All rights reserved.

A Friend Indeed

On By Rev. Jennifer L. SacksIn Faith, Journey, Personal Growth, Spirituality

Years ago, as a young executive, I had a friend who seemed to walk on water.  We hung out a lot, and I held her word as sacred. 

Often, I took her advice, even when the faintest still, small voice whispered that her way wasn’t best for me.  Sometimes, I could feel my body tense, my stomach rumbling and heart pounding.  My intuition attempted to guide me, but my intellect said, “She’s so much smarter.  She must be correct.”  Alas, to my own detriment, she was not.  

One day, I sheepishly approached a senior colleague and confided that the relationship felt “off” to me.  I knew that she understood when she said, “You feel ‘bad’ around her, as if you’ll never be good enough unless you do everything her way.” 

When we’re growing and learning, no matter our calendar age, our differentiation — the ability to remain true to ourselves and stay connected and compassionate, even during conflicts or disagreements — may feel “bad,” “lonely,” “yucky,” and/or “uncomfortable.”  Yet, we must differentiate because it’s paramount to our healthy spiritual growth and maturity.  And part of the process means that some relationships will end, while others will transform.  As we mourn these life passages, honoring them for what they were, we also can celebrate our capacity to make new friends.

To distinguish among bosom buddies, office pals, blessed mentors, inspiring teammates, and casual acquaintances, as well as false friends, we can:

  • Understand that having 1,000 friends or followers on social media doesn’t mean we have a lot of warm, caring friendships. 
  • Trust the gut.  If, for example, we repeatedly tune someone out, clench our jaws, or get headaches when we’re with them, it’s likely a signal that we’re out of sync.  We don’t need to analyze the circumstances, though we usually need to terminate the connection, especially if someone pressures us for money or romantic commitments.
  • Heed criticism lightly and consider all the angles, even if we truly value another’s insights and advice.  We’re all entitled to our opinion.
  • Avoid those who need to be “right” and make us “wrong,” or who gaslight, ghost, discount, diminish, turn away, and/or reach for their smart devices whenever we speak. 
  • Beware those who constantly:
    • offer unsolicited advice;
    • talk about themselves and never ask about us;
    • want to coach, correct, fix, and/or instruct us;
    • push their products or personal causes;
    • disregard our boundaries, privacy, and personal space;
    • need rescuing from another drama;
    • philosophize about how we could be, if we only did this, that, or the other thing;
    • gossip about others;
    • interrupt whenever we assert ourselves; and/or
    • know all the answers. 

Overall, remember that even if we feel lonely for a while, we aren’t alone.  Our inner spirit is strong, faith-filled, courageous, and capable.  As we trust ourselves and our intuition, we can take small steps forward into those places and relationships where true friends await, ready to love, support, encourage, and accept us for the divine people we are.

© 2019 – Rev. Jennifer L. Sacks.  All rights reserved.